1) Be sad! No more alone time! No more time for the things you want! [...]]]> My wife and I celebrated our one year anniversary a few days ago. One year ago, before we were married, there were many things that people told me would change or be different after marriage. The most popular are below:

1) Be sad! No more alone time! No more time for the things you want! My wife and I enjoy many of the same things. We spend time plotting and scheming together. We spend time going to events together. As a matter of fact, I can’t stand to be without her. Even at work, I measure time in “minutes till I get to go home,” and scheduled a longer lunch break just to spend more time with her. Besides, if I wanted alone time, I would not have gotten married.

2) No more hanging out with friends! Before marriage, my wife introduced me to her friends, and I thought they were awesome, and I became friends with them. I introduced my wife to my friends, and she thought they were so awesome that she became friends with them. As a matter of fact, she makes me spend time with them also! I am a sociophob, but my wife is fixing that: she helps me get out more often.

3) She is the boss Nope. We just do stuff. Up until this point, if something needs to be done, we discuss it and figure out what to do together. Sometimes her ideas are awesomer. Sometimes mine are.

4) Life will be boring! Not a chance! Our marriage started with a high-octane police chase as I rescued my wife from Massachusetts, and took her to New Hampshire. Since then, every day has been us single handedly saving the world from evil politicians at the very last minute. On a serious note, we could write a book of all the things that we have experienced since being married a year ago, from being followed by police, to being harassed and followed by bitter old ladies on main street.

5) There will be arguments! You will fight all the time None yet! Closest thing to a shouting match we’ve had were plans to angrily shout compliments at each other on main street just to see what people would say.

None of these premarital warnings have come to pass so far. I have married a beautiful lady who is very loving. Next year, about the same time, I’ll get to write on myths about being a parent.